


Legends and sentient dildo accidents

by SatanicMe



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Pepper is the scariest woman on earth, Pepper pepper sprays security guards, Tony gets inimitated by her, Tony invented a dildo with an AI called kevin, but Kevin dies, go feminism, power to the woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 08:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatanicMe/pseuds/SatanicMe
Summary: "Will that be all, Mister Stark?""Yes, that will be all, Miss Potts."





	Legends and sentient dildo accidents

The legend of the world wide most feared woman wasn't about an assassin with red hair that wore her identities like clothes. Changing them on a daily basis, washing them, wearing them again and when they were out of season throwing them into the garbage getting a new one.

No. Actually the legend was about a strawberry blond woman who grew up a pretty normal life.

She attended the public elementary school, graduated with a good but not out of the ordinary good grade from her Highschool and then went to the Columbia university studying law together with finance mathematics.

The legend begann as the said strawberry blond pretty woman got a job as secretary at Stark Industries.

It was a simple monotonous job. Just get the paperwork from one place to another and swing your beautiful ass while doing it.

A less educated person would have been able to do the same. Although SI always has been the leading company in equal opportunity for women there were conservative old man working in the high ranks of the unbalanced hierarchy in the darkest years that the industry family had ever seen.

News still ran wild and crazy about the death of the infamous Howard and Maria Stark, the leader on the weapon industry market worldwide and his generous left hand, who always managed the multiple charity events that were thrown in the name of Stark.

Their son Anthony Edward Stark, later better known as "Tony Stark", followed rather stumbling than elegant in his father's footsteps.

The first day of work with him as new CEO was a monstrous disaster. He came in drunk to the point his blood was almost pure alcohol - the mystery of Tony's high alcohol tolerance has not been lifted till today - and presented a prototype of a sentient dildo.

The dildo had an AI and was called Kevin.

Kevin died exploding in hundred little pieces. 

In the conference room while more than hundred reporters of different news papers and channels were present.

Luckily nobody was injured.

The days after the dildo accident were horrible. But then the accident was forgotten.

Accidents like that became the new normal at SI though none of them had made the news like the sentient dildo.

A week was considered as weird when the drunken playboy had not presented another weird prototype in SI that went boom.

At least it kept up the mood. The funny accidents of the drunk as blue boss were the gossip all interns talked about.

Well, except Virginia. Even though her job was utterly boring and stupid she always stayed serious at work never ever ignoring upcoming problems because she had gossip to joke about.

So it happened that she got her hands on a particular document from the accounting office that was going to write history. Like always she checked it for errors even if her superior, the chief of the secretary department, reminded her more than one time that she shouldn't waste time sticking her dumb nose in other people's businesses because she didn't have the needed intelligence to spot any errors if there even was one in front of her pretty but clueless eyes.

She even got a warning.

Checking the calculation of the accountant office the young woman spotted an error. Like a fucking big error that needed the attention of the CEO himself because it concerned sums of more than billions of dollars if it got ignored.

The first thing Virginia did was printing out the complete document that included the wrong calculation and highlighting the errors.

Then she grabbed the stack of paper, stood up and went straight out of her working space with the confidence of a soldier on the battlefield glaring down everybody with her killer glare that stepped into her way.

Not even the security guards could stop Virginia Potts on her warpath being brought down to their knees just by a small bottle of pepper spray.

Those who were smart enough to stay out watched with fearful whispers the goddess rushing past them with the grace of a queen with the rapid clicking of her high heels.

The door of Tony Starks private office was thrown open with so much force by the unstoppable female warrior that it literally flew out of its angles and crashed with a loud thundering bang on the floor and slide to the billionaires grand and luxury desk.

"Mr. Stark, I spotted a grave error that might influence the future of SI in the calculations of the accounting office. It's really important.", she stated with a sureness in her voice that made even the big popular Tony Stark crumble before he found the confidence again to deal with the woman that barged in his office like a fucking thunderstorm.

"What's your name?"

Her expression remained calm although this situation was very similar to the typical scenario of a boss firing his respect less intern.

"My name is Virginia Potts, sir. I know it's rude but you really have to see the documents, Mister Stark. You can fire me, I don't care, but this stack of papers here is of utmost importance."

A grin crept up into the billionaires face who was distracted by an incoming call of the head of security informing him of how exactly the woman in his office had put out several security guards with pepper spray.

"Hmm. Ok. Yes. Yes. Of course, I will. Yes, yes. Hmhmm. She'll know the consequences. Bye."

About 99,999782% of all people who ever had the honor to meet Tony Stark and even got enough attention to have a real conversation with this man were intimidated by his demeanor that literally cried of danger, intelligence and of course an inhuman amount of cleverness that even could outmatch the world best strategic.

"Good to know you don't mind being fired. Because my dear friend from the security department informed me just now that you made exactly 57 of my security guards immobile just by spraying them pepper spray quite rudely in their faces. A pretty impressive number for a secretary that only had one single bottle with that particular burning gasoline."

The 0,000218% was a single woman with a glare that was almost intense enough to literally kill a human

"You are fired. Say goodbye to your job as secretary at SI."

Virginia sighed but still put the stack of papers on the desk of her boss - now ex-boss - before she asked one last question.

"Are you going to oversee the documents, Mr Stark?"

"Yes, but only under one condition."

"If you want to imply that I have to sleep with you to get you reading these documents I am gonna to press charges for sexual harassment, sir."

Virginia saw how the playboy chocked shocked before he responded with tears in his eyes of almost suffocating of her surprising and fearless treat.

"Oh my God, please don't! I just want you to accept my job offer as my new personal assistant, Miss Potts, because you are the scariest, most confident and smartest woman I ever had the honor to meet who doesn't care about me as celebrity but as normal human being. Please, Miss Potts."

"I appreciate the compliments but no, I am not interested."

"What?!"

"That was a joke, Mister Stark. Don't you have a sense of humor? At least the part with not being interested. Of course I accept the offer."

"Good. Can I call you Pepper? Because as my Personal Assistant we will spent much time together and I rather would have you as my friend and all of my friends get special nicknames. And I want to remember the day every time I call you because you are a hell of a impressing woman and hopefully a friend?"

"Yes, you can. It sounds better than Virginia anyway. Will that be all, Mister Stark?"

"Yes, that will be all, Miss Potts."

As Pepper walked out with straight shoulders, clicking heels and the smile of a winner on her face the legend of the scariest woman of earth was born.

Because nobody dared to cross the woman who even intimidated the big Tony Stark.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel pity for all who are called kevin


End file.
